Recursion, a poem
“I’ve been processing how to make the most of the small amount of life we have to live,” said this physician.
We held our session while she was taking a break from her work to take a walk outside.
She said that often, at work, wearing her multiple “hats” she felt chaotic: she was required to do many things, but it was not possible to do all of them well.
On the other hand, she felt she was able to have greater focus with her patients and could be fully present at home with her family.
In these moments, she sometimes experienced a “recursive loop” phenomenon where she had a meta-awareness of her awareness of the goodness of a moment she was in. Especially with her children, she noted, “time is so fleeting in the grand scheme of things.”
Listener Poet Yvette Perry
Healthcare Burnout Symposium
February 2022
Recursion
Make a loop,
then another
Other shoe
one loop, another
Time to walk
Once outside
plans and calls and decisions to make--
But the sun
heats my skin
and the wind
leans to my ears close,
whispering secrets
and my shoes
thump thump thump
on the pavement
matching the beats
in my chest
Another loop
I become aware of joy spark, then—-
I’m aware
of my awareness
and aware of that, still
I fear loss,
am tempted to capture
this fleeting moment in the
jar of my phone cam
Instead, I loop
warmth and wind and beat
and play it for myself
for the rest
of my day
