“Bedside” a poem
He was reflecting on how sitting at bedside works on people and how dying can be more challenging for the living.
His recent experience with a patient's death from metastatic breast cancer brought him back to a moment in his personal life when he faced similar circumstances. A moment that catalyzed his choice to become a doctor. He felt like his life had come full circle.
He shared that his experience made him look into the more profound implications of the relationship between life and death. "Death, in many ways, ignites new life for the ones left behind."
Bedside
it’s one month before the New Year begins
when I step into the room
but in the ICU
the limbs of time
aren't so defined
"when" — is a question the living dare not ask
because it hurts too much
to be close to letting go.
that kind of intimacy is only
a comfort to the dying.
Soap dispenses into my palm with a squashing sound
and heralds my arrival to the family.
all eyes shift from the patient to me.
i’m enveloped by the reverent hush.
and my gaze rests on the bedside
where a daughter’s figure curls on the couch.
she’s waiting on guard for the coming wind
to carry Mom away.
and I recall that original spark
inviting me into this sacred space;
the death that ignited
new life within me;
the moment I answered the summons to provide care
and become a doctor.
my why
escorts me back to now
with a nudge
to reach for the hands of mother and daughter
to hold each of their palms in mine
to honor this rite of passage
from first breath to last
as a crucible of living and dying
that connects us all.
